Once upon a time...or more vividly, on a Saturday in one of the lesser years of a lesser decade, a discontinuity of complex functions caused tornadoes to break out in the small and sub-standardly boring town of South Bend, Indiana. During this brief period of horrid weather, relativity played out its part over the same period of time to cause an extensively lengthy birth to a middle aged Hippy Baby Boomer. The outcome was an unusual child and several broken trees.